i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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