Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
