fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
