how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
