Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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