I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
