She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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