who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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