I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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