Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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