where does the pee come out of this thing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize