OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
