How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
