Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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