Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
