no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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