I bet he comes in French.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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