Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
