i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
