drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
