New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
