people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
