Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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