Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was like eating out sand paper
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
