I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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