i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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