Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
whose parrot is this?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
