I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
