I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize