OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
