Someone shit on the floor
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And the cops told us we were all naked.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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