No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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