too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
