is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I forgot how hot balto sounded
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
