I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
