You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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