Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize