is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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