I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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