i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
