take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
