She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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