dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
