We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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