i just wanna soil my oats bro
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
