life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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