no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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