Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
