This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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