I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
