hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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