# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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