I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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