I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
