Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
