Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
