hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
