She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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