i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
